After multiple failed attempts at starting over and getting hold of my life which almost felt like my magnificent creature, the White Whale (used metaphorically to describe something that is considered to be unattainable).
However, this time more determined than ever and focused to work on my strengths and to get what I wanted to achieve. But what was it that i was running so fast towards ?what was it that i actually wanted from this life? a life that gets over in the blink of an eye. They say that your entire life flashes in front of you in the last 7 seconds of your life. What was it that i wanted to see? What was it that I wanted to be remembered for ?What was the legacy that i wanted to leave behind?Did I want to live the life of the ordinary ? That’s something I never have had to think about. I’ve never been a naturally gifted person but what I did have was optimism. Optimism that I knew how to make things right (I always did) . There is no one path to success. You just need to identify what is the path ment for you.
I had always worked in fear. Fear of failure, fear of coming last, fear of the unknown, fear of what will people think. but who are these people ?do they even matter ?When I was drowning how many of these people came to save me? The answer is not many . Also I had nothing to lose. In the pervious year I lost family, friends, my will,my drive and my peace of mind.
So yes coming back to topic I was going to do what I do best to get my life on track and strike back harder than before and that strength was that I was going to Plan, analyse and work slowly towards my goals. Focusing on my self and through my self everyone else. Everyone else that I could be there for and help pick up .
So I made a list of the top 5 things I wanted and they were :
1. That promotion I had been working so hard for but now seemed uncertain . I wanted to change domain and gain that at the same time.A domain that I had no working experience in. Was I asking for too much? Only time will tell
2. The next was starting my own business. I’ve always known I would start a business some day I knew what I wanted it to be. However, the last year had drained me to such an extent that I had no will to work on anything new
3. I wanted to nourish my soul, sprit, mind and body. (What was I going to do to achieve that? I have no clue at this point
4. Build experiences, travel, meet new people , record these experiences and share them with the world. This was going to be a lot of planning
5. Was going to be the most difficult and that was save money (save for that house, car, that new phone, camera, doing up the house all of this) it was going to take more than planning and sacrifice. It was going to take laser like focus on my path to achieve this one.
So this is what I have planned for the next 365 days. No it’s not the new year but who said we can only make resolutions in the new year. My new beginning was going to be July 4th 2021
The White Whale 